I Was Going to Quit, But…

You’ve heard it many times, I’m sure. “I was going to leave, but…”. “She was planning to quit, but…”. “He was hoping to be gone by December, but…”.

These are some of your co-workers. There are people in every company in every country who said they were going to leave, but are still there.

How do we know? A survey available this month shows that up to 60% of workers stay in a job that they don’t enjoy. So why do people do it?

One reason is that it’s hard to leave. It’s difficult to find a new job. It’s difficult to join another company. We like our regular habits. We like it easy.

Another reason people don’t leave is because of their co-workers. Yes, I’m sure there are wonderful people in your company. So perhaps there might also be wonderful people in another company? But people find it more comfortable to stay with their friends.

And finally, the most popular reason people stay in a job they don’t like is that there just aren’t any better jobs out there. People are practical and they understand the fact that unless you are a CEO or a skilled specialist with experience, changing jobs isn’t very easy.

But next time you catch yourself saying, “I was going to quit but…”, it might be worth thinking about the real reason you are staying.

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Find Yourself /Who are you?

Son birkaç zamandır popüler olan aslında temeli eski bazı terimler var; farkındalık (awareness, mindfulness ) , özgün olmak, kendini tanımak, farklılaşmak, özgürlük , mutluluğu hissetmek şeklinde zincir. Ancak günümüz şartlarında insanların kendi şeklini potansiyelini fark edip sonrasında kendini tamamlaması uzun bazıları içinde aslında ütopik ama denemeye değer…

Yeter ki biraz cesaret ,korkularımızdan sıyrılmak ; yani kısacası hiç başarı tesadüf olmadığı gibi hiçbir mutluluk da tesadüf değildir.

  • Train yourself to identify your inner desires. Ask: How can I satisfy my inner desires? If you ask with an open mind you might get an answer you don’t expect.
  • Our inner desires change so we have to adjust our ambitions. Some years you may want to secure and then need change. A new inner need can feel scary: Will you hold back or take the plunge to try something different?
  • Whenever you feel stuck or find yourself at a crossroads ask yourself what at that point makes you happy. Compile a list without questioning what you write down. Make it as detailed as possible including details about your home, where you like to go, the skills you most enjoy using, the poeple you are drawn to.
  • Your list will guide you to opportunities by prompting your mind to take notice of opportunities to explore.


Ask Yourself I want —- because….? I need… because….? I need….to…? What gets in the way of me doing what I really want do is….? The differences between what I want and what I need is….? I think about what I want in relation to…..? But I’ve never thought about what I want in terms of…..? What are the things I want to do every day? What are the feelings I need to feel every day?

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Redefining Ambition and Success


Çalışma enerjimiz , başarımız , tutkularımız ve bizleri ayakta tutan birçok enerjik kavramlar var. Başarılı olmak için yaptıklarımıza sorguladığımızda içimizdeki sese bazı sorular yöneltiriz;

En son ne öğrenmek için çaba harcadın?

Günlük rutinden farklı olarak kendini değiştirmek için en ufak bir değişiklik yaptın mı?

Çok basit şeyleri öğrenmek için çaba harcadın mı?…

En büyük hayalinizi gerçekleştirmeniz zaman alacaktır, hayatınızdaki dengeye sokmak için çalışmayı sürdürmeli ve asla pes etmemelisiniz. Denge unsurlarınız ; sevgi, öz saygı, boş zaman (kendiniz için ayırdığınız serbest zaman),kişisel gelişim, ve arkadaşlar. Dannie-Lu Carr

Gerçek başarı;   ve başkalarının istediklerini ya da başkalarının norm ya da değerlerinin yaşadığı hayatta değil , kendi değerlerinizi ve farkındalığınızı konuşturabildiğiniz hayatta yeşerebilir.

Senin hayatın ve senin yolun olduğunu hatırla! Bunun anlamı açıkça ; yarışa ve karşılaştırmaya ihtiyacın yok. Kendin olduğunda başka bir şeye ihtiyacın yok. Gerçekten gayretli, heyecanlı olduğunda beraberinde, mutluluk,  yeni insanlar , yeni fırsatlar karşına çıkacaktır.

“A definition  of ambition based on  seeking and aspiring to something gives each of us the opportunity to choose what we want to achieve”

Kale Baker, mind -body-movement coach

You can evaluate what you want, ıf there is a way to achieve your dreams with out burning out form exhaustion , wouldn’t you rather do that?

“Ambition needs balance and it might take a while to get there”

Dannie- Lu Carr, creativity speacialist, communications consultant

There is no doubt that the pace of our modern lives , especially in cities , is fast and demanding. It is also inevitable that one of your desires , more often than not work, will become all consuming particulary in a competitive field or an economic climate where jobs aren’t easy to find . But you only feed that strand in your life, what will happen to other areas? If you had a  garden and only looked after the roses and ignored the rest, it wouldn’t  be a very pretty sight would it?


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stress relief pointers

  • think really seriously about and talk with others, to identify the causes of the stress and take steps to remove, reduce them or remove yourself (the stressed person) from the situation that causes the stress.
  • Understand the type(s) of stressors affecting you (or the stressed person), and the contributors to the stress susceptibility – knowing what you’re dealing with is essential to developing the stress management approach.
  • improve diet – group B vitamins and magnesium are important, but potentially so are all the other vitamins and minerals: a balanced healthy diet is essential. Assess the current diet and identify where improvements should be made and commit to those improvements.
  • reduce toxin intake – obviously tobacco, alcohol especially – they might seem to provide temporary relief but they are working against the balance of the body and contributing to stress susceptibility, and therefore increasing stress itself.
  • take more exercise – generally, and at times when feeling very stressed – exercise burns up adrenaline and produces helpful chemicals and positive feelings.
  • stressed people must try to be detached, step back, look from the outside at the issues that cause the stress.
  • don’t try to control things that are uncontrollable – instead adjust response, adapt.
  • share worries – talk to someone else – off-load, loneliness is a big ally of stress, so sharing the burden is essential.
  • increase self-awareness of personal moods and feelings – anticipate and take steps to avoid stress build-up before it becomes more serious.
  • explore and use relaxation methods – they do work if given a chance – yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, massage, a breath of fresh air, anything that works and can be done in the particular situation.
  • seek out modern computer aids – including free downloads and desktop add-ons – for averting stresses specifically caused by sitting for long uninterrupted periods at a computer screen work-station, for example related to breathing, posture, seating, eye-strain, and RSI (repetitive strain injury).

Note also that managing stress does not cure medical problems. Relieving stress can alleviate and speed recovery from certain illnesses, particularly those caused by stress, (which depending on circumstances can disappear when the stress is relieved); i.e., relieving stress is not a substitute for conventional treatments of illness, disease and injury.

Importantly, if the stress is causing serious health effects the sufferer must consult a doctor. Do not imagine that things will improve by soldiering on, or hoping that the sufferer will somehow become more resilient; things can and probably will get worse.

For less serious forms of stress, simply identify the cause(s) of stress, then to commit/agree to removing the cause(s). If appropriate this may involve removing the person from the situation that is causing the stress. Counselling may be necessary to identify the cause(s), particularly if the sufferer has any tendency to deny or ignore the stress problem.

Acceptance, cognisance and commitment on the part of the stressed person are essential. No-one can begin to manage their stress if they are still feeling acutely stressed – they’ll still be in ‘fight or flight’ mode. This is why a manager accused of causing stress though bullying or harassment must never be expected to resolve the problem. The situation must be handled by someone who will not perpetuate the stressful influence.

Removing the stressor(s) or the person from the stressful situation is only part of the solution; look also at the factors which affect stress susceptibility: where possible try to improve the factors that could be contributing to stress vulnerability. This particularly and frequently involves diet and exercise.

The two simplest ways to reduce stress susceptibility, and in many situations alleviate stress itself (although not removing the direct causes of stress itself) are available to everyone, cost nothing, and are guaranteed to produce virtually immediate improvements. They are diet and exercise.

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Personality Test

This free test is based on Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ typological approach to personality.

Upon completion of the questionnaire, you will:

  • Obtain your 4-letter type formula according to Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ typology, along with the strengths of preferences and the description of your personality type
  • Discover careers and occupations most suitable for your personality type along with examples of educational institutions where you can get a relevant degree or training
  • Understand communication and learning styles of your type.
  • See which famous personalities share your type
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Evrensel bir bilgelik şöyledir :

Düşüncelerine dikkat et, söze donusurler ; eylemlerine dikkat et, eyleme donusurler , eylemlerine dikkat et alışkanlık olurlar, alışkanlıklarına dikkat et ,kişiliğin olurlar; kişiliğine dikkat et, kaderini biçimlendirir.










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Farki yaratan heyecanla yapilandir

Farki yaratan heyecan ile yapılan işlerdir, içimizdeki heyecan yok olduğunda mekanik bir canlıdan farkımız kalmiyacaktir. Ne olursa olsun hayal kurmak ” have a dream ” düşüncelerimizi davranışlarımizi değiştirecek ,hayatımızı değiştirecek güçtür.

Yaratıcılık zamandan bağımsızlıktır. Yaratıcılık yükselme kaygısından uzaklıktır. Yaratıcılığın engellere tahammülü yoktur. Tecrubeyi gözünüzde çok büyütmeyin ; çocuk gibi her an gelişim içinde olmalıyız . 

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How to Recognize a Dominant Personality/How to Manage a Dominant Personality

How to Recognize a Dominant Personality

It’s not hard to spot dominant people. Typically they will be – or want to be – in a leadership position. They may exhibit several of the following behaviors and traits:

  • Self-confidence: their strong self-belief can come across as arrogance or bravado.
  • Directness: dominant people usually get right to the point and can be quite blunt in their communication.
  • Decisiveness: they can make quick decisions, often with little input from others.
  • Assertiveness: they tend to take the lead in situations and commonly monopolize discussions and meetings. They may even seem aggressive at times.
  • Impatience: dominant people like to make progress. They tend to avoid getting bogged down in details and can give little time to contributions from colleagues.

    How to Manage a Dominant Personality

    A dominant team member may not realize how her behavior affects her colleagues. She may mean well but simply does not understand that her actions are causing problems.

    To maintain morale and unity within your team, you’ll need to encourage her to downplay her negative traits and maximize her strengths.

    The following tips can help.

    How to Minimize the Negative Effects of Dominant Behavior

    1. Approach dominant people on their level. Always keep your conversations targeted and brief to keep their attention. Make eye contact, skip the small talk, and don’t ramble. Speak confidently   and don’t back down. To prevent arguments, avoid making generalizations and support your assertions with evidence. If the dominant person tries to interrupt or talk over you, put a stop to it immediately.
    2. Discuss the impact of their behavior. A dominant person may not actually realize how his behavior is affecting the rest of the team. Talk privately with him to explain your concerns, using specific examples  . Use role playing   to encourage him to take more constructive, positive approaches with his co-workers.
    3. Treat them with respect. Dominant people want others to hear and appreciate their opinions. Show respect for them and their viewpoints. Remain calm, and address them with empathy  . What motivates their behavior? Do they want to feel important? Do they feel insecure and crave more respect? Showing compassion can tone down the more aggressive side of their personality.
    4. Encourage teamwork. Your dominant team member may spend little time socializing and building relationships with her colleagues, who in turn may find it difficult to collaborate with her. Consider ways of improving your team dynamics  . Coach her on how to be a good team player. Your whole team can likely benefit from team-building exercises  , especially in building trust.
    5. Conduct personality testing. Psychometric testing   can enrich your understanding of your team, and encourage your team members to learn more about themselves and one another. As a result, they’ll be able to build stronger relationships within the team.
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Mandela: 8 Ways to Lead Yourself to Success

Mandela: 8 Ways to Lead Yourself to Success

He spent 27 years in prison, once remarking, “I went for a long holiday…”

Nelson Mandela, who left this planet just over one year ago, will forever be remembered as a great defender of human rights.

While he led millions out of oppression, Mandela was a leader of himself first.

These words from Nelson Mandela show us how we can all lead ourselves to a better tomorrow in business and in life.

1. “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

Many of us settle for the status quo. But there is one thing I know about you without ever having met you. You are far more capable than you realize. Your power to affect change is waiting to be unleashed.

Do not, for a second, underestimate yourself. Instead, look forward to surprising yourself by going beyond what you thought you could do.

Holding back on yourself is holding back on others. Your business, your family, your friends, indeed the world – needs you. All of you.

Dare to leave your comfort zone, if not for yourself, then for others.

2. “The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself…”

There is a lot of talk these days about being honest with others, but very little about being honest with ourselves. This means we need to stop doing things that are hurting us and which are against what we believe in.

Mandela, true to himself and his values, refused to accept conditions that would have let him out of prison at an earlier time. He did not compromise his beliefs.

While being honest with yourself is a priority, Mandela also believed it is important to stay humble and not be boastful. We live in a world where everyone is competing for attention. But in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Mandela explained that leadership with humility carries great power, because: “Then people will embrace you. They will listen to you.”

For a happy career and life, be true to yourself. Use humility to influence others.

3. “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

Ever notice how, when you are relaxed and just being yourself, others around you also relax and become themselves. Drop the facade. You don’t need it. The real you is perfect. That’s who the world needs to see and do business with.

When you are yourself, you are inviting others to be genuine and authentic as well. Superior, honest communication will result.

Don’t be a cheap imitation of yourself.

4. “I am the captain of my soul.”

People only hurt us if we give them permission to do so. If there is a lack of respect for you at work, at home or within a friendship, withdraw your permission.

As the captain of your soul, you not only have the power to choose how you will react, but you have the power of forgiveness.

Mandela forgave many people in the apartheid movement as a way to build bridges. He was a master of collaboration, choosing not to retaliate – and, to the surpise and shock of many, he even hired people from the former racist regime to work for his government.

You are in charge of how you will react, and your forgiveness will build bridges.

5. “Appearances matter — and remember to smile.”

Often in business meetings, I forget to smile. Being too serious makes everyone tense and often, that can produce a less than desirable outcome. The moment I crack a smile, I can almost see the tension flowing out of people.

Mandela’s famous smile showed warmth, forgiveness, wisdom and understanding. You too can bring all of those qualities to the table through your smile.

Exercise your power – smile.

6. “A winner is a dreamer who never gives up”

We may feel like a loser if we do not succeed in our goals. But what if we never give up? What if we modify our approach, experiment and keep our dreams alive?

If you keep on trying, you are forever a winner.

7. “Courage is not the absence of fear — it is inspiring others to move beyond it.”

Mandela knew that eliminating fear is an impossible task. Instead, he asked his followers to take action in spite of fear. In other words, to work around it.

Even when we have all of the talent, know-how, determination and resources to accept a challenge, we often decide not to proceed because of our fear of the unknown. I spoke recently with an out-of-work friend who has amazing entrepreneurial skills. She has chosen not to start a business, admitting she is afraid.


Fear is highly overrated.

8. “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

Something is only impossible if we lack the courage to make it happen. You will find that courage when you remind yourself that what you are doing is the right thing to do.

For decades, it seemed impossible that Nelson Mandela would be President of South Africa. But it was the right thing to happen.

If it’s the right thing to do, find the courage to turn the impossible into the possible.

Leadership is not about the position you hold.

Mandela was a leader from a prison cell for almost 3 decades, and had been President of South Africa for only 5 years.

He once said that when he was negotiating, he realized that until he changed himself, he could not change others.

Leading others and leading yourself go hand in hand.


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Herkese şeker tadında bayramlar :) iyi tatiller geçirmeniz dileğiyle…

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